Tony’s Story

Tony, from Welwyn Garden City, is currently supporting two generations – his daughter, who is autistic, and his wife, who lives with lymphoedema and fibromyalgia. He also previously cared for his late mum, who was living with dementia and passed away in 2021. He has had a caring role for more than seven years. Here he shares a bit more about his caring journey and the support he has had from us, at Carers in Hertfordshire.

“My caring journey began when I supported my mum, who was living with dementia and has now sadly passed away. She had care workers visiting throughout the day and received Meals on Wheels, but I still visited most days to help with meals, and I accompanied her to appointments. One of the biggest challenges I faced was helping her understand and accept some of the decisions made to support her wellbeing. Although I did consider care home options at one stage, this was not something we pursued.

I first contacted Carers in Hertfordshire when I was trying to get a card to show professionals that I was my mum’s carer when attending appointments with her. I got your Carers’ Passport.

I then attended a local Hub support group and have continued going whenever I can – five years this year. It gives me the opportunity to talk with other carers, share experiences and access helpful advice.

I currently care for my daughter and my wife. After my daughter’s diagnosis a few years ago, I wanted to learn as much as possible about autism and how best to support her. Thanks to Carers in Hertfordshire, and a discussion at a Hub, I was able to connect with the right people and access support that helped my daughter move into work.

One of the most important things I’ve learned as a carer is the importance of taking time for myself. I still work when I can, as it helps me stay connected with other people.

My advice for anyone looking at care home options, would be to take your time and make sure the environment feels right.”